well, I think you might tell your daughter that
life is just like four seasons, there are spring, summer, autumn and winter, season is alternating just like she might live with father or mother in turn, Things are just as nature as that.
she might like spring because of the balming whether and blossom flower, she might like summer because she can swim and wear beautiful dresses, she might like autumn because there are all different tasty fruits, but she might don't like winter because it is cold, but if she is a smart girl she can still find snow ball to play. the tenor is people need to appreciate the good that is handy right now instead of always looking at the future.
She need to find out the happiness with father or with mother, since life is tough anyway, she might encounter all sorts of difficulties, parants divorces is just one of them, God is setting all the tricks infront of us, good girl need to find the happiness anyway..

I think the most important things for a child is, she should understand, life will not change as what she want, but she can adjust herself and always think optimistic.
My daughter had experienced some hard time as well, in her 3rd grade, since I was too much indulged in my career, she had met some study difficulties in school and was punished and treated as an inferior pupil once a while.she was sad at that time, and I changed my focus swiftly after I recognize the problem, she is very cooperate when she requires my help desperately, after the effort of one semester, she had regain her self-respect.
But I tell her, the biggest lesson that we learn is not just the high score in school, it is about how people can be stumbled,  and it will be never too late to fight back by yourself.
She is not studying very hard now, but I observe her status without pushing hard, since the best gift that I can give her, is not monitoring her everyday to ensure a high score, the best gift is I will let her to find out her way and help her whenever she needs me.
therefore, do not blame the situation no matter what it is, just teach her how to be happy and pave her own way.

[ 本帖最后由 nice妈妈 于 2009-4-1 11:59 编辑 ].

yes, I have to say, there are deficit of responsiveness for many people, man and woman.that's why we need to develop the independency as much as we can.
but love will be and always be the only reason for a family to exist.
if we cann't change the life, we change ourselves

[ 本帖最后由 nice妈妈 于 2009-4-1 12:11 编辑 ].

moreover, if we can not rely on others, we rely on ourselves. it is merphy's law, if anything can go wrong, it will.
but if you have prepared for all the worst, it won't come..