这应该是篇八股文，按照老师要求写的。很多地方是中式思维的英语。.

四年级随笔 不是真事，编的。虽然是流水帐，写得不算好，但是用的是英文思维。

I've had a great day! Today we went to a base that's only open in the summer. At 7:45am I had to roll out of bed get ready and go rent a dog sledge. So I could go to the summer base. I got there at 10:00am there were a lot of people studying. At noon after lunch I went with a tour guide to go look at penguins and seals. It was fantastic the seals were so funny! It also was funny the way the penguins walked! I asked the tour guide if there were any more animals. But he said no. At 2:30pm we went back on a dog sledge. I could hear the rushing water behind us. I hated the smell it smelled like steam. Then I went out to take some interesting pictures. I got three seals pictures and eight penguins pictures. They were awesome! When I went back for dinner the food was disgusting I don't know how people can last the summer! After that, I went to the library to see what else I could do. I found out some people race with dog sledges. So I went up to a lady and asked if she wanted to race. She said ok so we raced. She was very good I lost to her. But it was amazing I loved it! It's getting late got to go.

[ 本帖最后由 不二周助 于 2009-4-8 10:18 编辑 ].

引用:

原帖由 PUPPET 于 2009-4-8 20:59 发表


看来学语法和做练习学不到英语式思维.

是的。并且已经学了中式思维要改到英文的思维是很难的。如果不去纠正，那么说或写时就会一直有很多错误。表达的东西给外国人看，人家也不知道你到底想说什么。所以花很多精力学语法是得不偿失的。.

考试，证书都是能强化的。哪怕是考出托福，雅思，也有很多人是应试的结果，只不过是应了外国的某一考试，第二天换一种考法又得从头来过了。
让你儿子维持英语阅读，收获的是将来的实战能力，这时语言就真的能成为一门工具了。.

引用:

原帖由 GH 于 2009-4-11 21:20 发表
我们全家一起来学习楼上二篇文章并让孩子一起参与讨论.
第一篇:
比较正式的, 就是在老师规定的格式中完成的( within frame) , 儿子说这是学校规定动作, 他们也是这样写的, 比较BORING的.
一致认为是中轨中矩.  ...

虽然我不精通，但是第一篇文章写作，标点运用，和语句上我认为有很多的问题。外国老师来看也是有问题的。随便挑一句My father was thin and tall and short-sighted 不能这样写的，如果是形容词并列，应该是My father was thin, tall and short-sighted.
But great changes have taken place in my family. 这句话出现，让人的第一感觉是家庭里要发生巨大的变化。。。可是后面写的是大家外貌上的变化。这不是great change.我女儿说played with toys 是指和玩具一起玩，只有朵拉A梦的世界才有可能，呵呵。玩玩具play toys.
除此之外，还有很多牵强的地方，至少外国人看得会不明白。Mom has to care about my score and I always break her heart.中国特色，外国人肯定不明白。

第二遍不是我家丫头写的，是外国四年级小人即兴写的。

[ 本帖最后由 不二周助 于 2009-4-11 22:12 编辑 ].

我同意的。按照学校的评分标准，满分也对的。如果我是家长的话，我也会鼓励，虽然知道欠缺在哪里，以后再改。毕竟一百分不容易。。。.

考粉TX，你说的也对，确实和外国一年级的人水平差不多，和两年级就差很多了。
我的观点也是不比高低，但要多参考，多看看，就知道缺在哪里。不是在乎现在的对与错，毕竟小还可以纠正，作为学生还在学。主要是看得出这样继续下去的结果不怎么对，路子全错了。.

你也可以一样好
背景
两年级（还是三年级？）男孩，本地学校中国孩子的作文，一直还是中国老师。父母很注重孩子的阅读。老师没有事先教过，完全即兴。家喻户晓的故事用英语写。比外国孩子写得好。

The Tortoise and the Hare

Once upon a time, there was a hare who runs very fast, and a tortoise who walks very slowly.
One day, the hare said to the tortoise, "I want to race with you. The winner gets an ice cream. Er...the end could be that palace." he pointed to a palace with a blue gate far away.
They asked the mouse to be the referee. "On your marks, one...two..three, go!" The referee blew his whistle. The hare was very fast. He zoomed up the hill. But the tortoise was very very slow. The referee called," Go tortoise go!" But it didn't help! The hare was so swift that soon the referee couldn't see where he is! After a while, the hare suddenly stopped and looked down. "Aha!"he laughed,"Tortoise is still very slow." He smiled and ran up to the palace. Quickly he was sweating and thought," If I stop and have a rest, the tortoise must be the winner." So he never stopped until soon he felt tired. He sat down at a tree and had a rest. Not only a REST! He began to snooze!
The tortoise saw the hare and giggled," Ha! Now you can not be the winner. The ice cream will be mine." The tortoise was sweating and thirsty too. But he kept on walking.
When the hare woke up, guess what? The tortoise was nearly finished! Down the path, he was trying hard to catch up. But it was too late! He felt upset. The referee gave tortoise the winner an ice cream.
"If you are not pride you will be the winner." Tortoise said to the hare. At last, he shared the ice cream with the hare. They are good friends after all.

[ 本帖最后由 不二周助 于 2009-4-12 08:35 编辑 ].

写作的时候，说话的时候，想的至少是英语的句子。
不是一边想中文，一边蹦出一个个英语单词再套语法的那种。.