旺网回来了,看到谈虎妈的旧帖,心痒痒也想写几句,可是六个月前虽然读过书,可是大概只看三分之二,就看不下去了,成了没读完该书的人,不敢贸然跟贴;于是到图书馆去借。
我第一个孩子是照书养的,从怀孕期到约三岁,每次到图书馆,至少会借回一本育儿经。可是老二出世后,我的育儿哲学,从照书养变成照猪养,所以,这还是6年来我第一次回到图书馆的育儿书架呢。
虎妈的书找到了,顺便瞄一瞄旁边的几本。。。咦,竟有三本是专门谈教育男孩的。其中一本的书名有点新意:《The Purpose of Boys》。
书名:《The Purpose of Boys: Helping our sons find meaning, significance, and direction in their lives》
作者:Michael Gurian
出版年份:2009
随便一翻,在第93页看到这一段:
A New Kind of "Family"
...Boys are struggling so powerfully (and often so nonverbally and unconsciously) with emotional intelligence and cognitive development, the shames and joys of the growing body, the burdens and joys of education, and the vagaries of romance and love, that their human journey needs the care of many parents, many "leaders," many "elders" who will value, admire, and guide them.
In this model, boys need their parents to be leaders of a family system that is composed of :
- The First Family (the nuclear family)
- The Second Family (three or more other leaders who are or become extended family)
- Social institutions, such as schools or churches, men's clubs, athletic programs, that are so well matched to boys' needs that they feel like a "tribe" attached to the family.
大意是说:男孩子在情商和智力发展,生理发育,学校教育,和情感方面的挣扎和情绪起伏非常强烈,而且他们往往不会用语言表达,情绪和反应也是不自觉的;所以,男孩的成长,需要很多人的珍惜,赏识和引导。
作者建议家长为他们的儿子建立这样的一个家庭网络:
- 核心家庭(就是家长自己啦)
- 第二家庭(三个或更多的亲戚,或其他长辈)
- 社会机构(学校,宗教团体,或其他能够让孩子有归属感的俱乐部或体育团体)
这段文字,成功吸引我去读这本书。虎妈的书,又要暂时放下了。.