查看完整版本: 女儿写的英语想象作文请大家点评

女儿写的英语想象作文请大家点评

[align=center]The best Superman[/align][align=left]   
[color=red]One Sunday morning, three supermen met in the street. The sky is as blue as a big precious stone. While  they were enjoying the nice weather.[/color][/align][align=left]Sunddely,a superman said,'l'm very brave.l can carry any things.No one can flatten me l'm a hero![/align][align=left]Then one of them said,'l don't think so l'm a hero!'[/align][align=left]'Oh! l can hear someone is shouting!' The third superman shouted .He flew up quickly in the sky .     
Oh!The  a partment took frie!                                                                                                      
There's a conflagration!My God! That's too dangerous!'The  first superman said.[/align][align=left]'You are a poltroon! l'm greater than you.'The second superman said.[/align][align=left]'Well.You? Greater than me?That's not true! Hmm ,You are a slob!'The first superman said.[/align][align=left]The third superman saw there 's a little girl in the apartment.she was very worried and upset.'l'm coming!' The The third superman said.He pulled her hands and took her out.Then they were in the street.[/align][align=left]     'Thank you.'The little girl said.[/align][align=left]     'You are welcome.Bye-Bye!'The third superman waved his hand.[/align][align=left]     The first superman and the second superman still  agreetd .But no one listened to them. Because     they wanted to talked with the real hero------the third superman.[/align][align=left]     As you can see,the heroes never says "l'm hero".And the brawler always are not hero.[/align]

[[i] 本帖最后由 美为 于 2006-10-31 17:43 编辑 [/i]].

[em19][em01] [em01].

写的很好啊!.
象个小话剧剧本了![em06].

不错.

因为本人英语水平有限，二十六个字母都认识，凑在一块认识的也有限，所以请大家点评一下。.

还有大概你女儿特别喜欢超人吧.
我儿子特别喜欢蜘蛛侠,周六我们会所组织的HALLOWEEN PARTY儿子终于如愿以偿的穿上了蜘蛛侠的衣服,结果发现有5,6个蜘蛛侠.
我们只能从他们的鞋子分辨出谁是谁.[em07]

有点跑题.[em04]

[[i] 本帖最后由 CENTOFANTIAN 于 2006-10-30 21:36 编辑 [/i]].

回复 #1 美为 的帖子

文法和句子还需多多修炼。
建议加强阅读。
On Sunday morning ,there were three supermen met in the street.The sky is so blue that it looks like a big blue  precious stone.  
开头可以这样：
One Sunday morning, three supermen met in the street. The sky is as blue as a big precious stone. While they were enjoying the nice weather,.......

回复 #7 jinm 的帖子

[em01] [em01].

想不到现在的小学生英语水平如此了得！
写得挺不错的，语法错误当然是有，有些句子可以优化，但作为一个小学生，能够写成这样已经很不错了，不用担心。
看来你女儿的中文作文也不错吧。.

又一篇

Adventure of Alice 1
Alice was a little girl,she lives in Pudong. she had a lively fancy.Her friend always called her"the fantast".
One day ,Alice walked alone in the street.Sunddely,the branches waved in the wind.She was light in the
head.From then on,she could see a man.The man took her to a secret house.There were many fearful
photos in the house.Then the man faded away.Alce was very woried ,"Where aml? Mummy Mummy!     Help me!"
"you mum isn't here.now listen! stay at home quietly.l  will come back soon!'said a voice,'oh,l' m
hungry.cook some fish for me!'
'He's a piggish man!' she said angrily.Then Alice found a secret room. she was very pleased.she swept     the floor carefully and fouud a secret door. she opened the door.
'Hello! welcome to ZEROK l'm the leader  May l know your name?'Alice could see an old man.
She said loudly,'my name is Alice! And Where am l?'
'well. Alice,good name. Hmm......you are on ZEROK The leader said.
'ZEROK?'
'Yes! ZEROK is a special country. lt's very big! There are eight milions and one people!Alice ...let me see......Oh,so good! you can live on ZEROK ! 'Alice was happy.

[[i] 本帖最后由 美为 于 2006-10-31 17:01 编辑 [/i]].

回复 #9 xuwenlei 的帖子

[em01] 她喜欢看书阅读，乱写一通。.

要注意时态一致.

写的不错.他现在的水平应该可以多读一些英文原版书,感受一下语境,这样写出来的东西更地道一些..

回复 #13 stephaniell 的帖子

[em01] [em01] 非常感谢！.

不错，有水平！家长公布可没！.

回复 #13 stephaniell 的帖子

不知道该给她买什么样的书，适合她的外语读物。

[[i] 本帖最后由 美为 于 2006-11-1 11:58 编辑 [/i]].

*** 该贴被屏蔽 ***

回复 #17 tracy2006 的帖子

是小学五年级。.

[em06] [em06].

*** 该贴被屏蔽 ***

续一篇

Adventure of Alice2--the war
The leader gave Alice a lot of money, Alice made a fridend on ZEROK,His name was Wade. Wade was a Naval officer He could know many pieces of in  for mations one day,Wade said with a smile to Alice ,"Do you know why you can live ZEROK?
"l don't know',Alice shook her head.
"Because there's a war on ZEROK Bob, Cabell, Danny,Eads,Frank Gage Harry,lna and lamar were in for the wars,Long long ago ,the Sprist said 'lf ten people's name is Alice, Bob, cabell,Danny,Ead, Frank,Gage,     Harry ,lna and Dolllars to nineteen people Nine peope 'we will win!'lna said Lamar, they can salvtion ZEROK!' and yourname is Alice.'you must in join the war!'
'OK,'Alice said sunddely,Alice was in the sea she swam and swam,she could saw an is land
'Hello,l 'm Alice!' Alice said
'Oh Alice! Let,s go to the forest!' The nine people said.
They went into the forest.
'Hey!Stupit!We are here!'Dolllars shouted.
Ninty monsters went out.
'Don't be afraid,Alice.Here 's a knif.Throw it.'Harry said quietly.
Alice threw the knif.They won!

[[i] 本帖最后由 美为 于 2006-11-4 20:21 编辑 [/i]].

同问! 能写出这样的文章,真的是不错滴.很想知道上哪所学校的,我们5才刚开始写英语作文,根本就没法写到这么高的水平. [em07].